Finding my yes.
I find myself writing about this, because it keeps showing up! First of all when I decided to start recording some of my original songs, I had to find a ‘yes’ inside me in order to actually make it happen. Make the call, set the appointment, show up ready. Stepping into the unknown. I had made a professional recording before but it was 20 years prior and this time I was singing lyrics that I had written, not just improvising on the piano/keyboard. It took a minute to get the ball rolling. I had started out with a fellow songwriter that was willing to work with me. I found my yes and plunged in…only to find that he had some family issues to take care of and was called away, unable to continue our work as he was moving out of state. Ok that happened and do I still have another yes in there? I got my feet wet.
I asked around and found another songwriting friend that had done his own recording, had a keyboard and we arranged to give it a try. I was excited to give it another go. As it turned out this also fell through. Now I’m starting to wonder if I’m meant to be recording right now. Was the universe telling me something? My yes was starting to waiver to maybe not.
I asked around some more with my songwriting friends and got yet another name. I made a phone call and was back on track with another YES!
I finally landed at Rooftop Recording in Grand Blanc and working with Dave was and has been just great! I felt so comfortable there. That was really important for me so I could sing from a place of openness and with feeling. I remember him asking me after he did his magic and fixed all of my goof ups on a song–What are we going to work on next? He seemed eager to keep going. I felt like he met me where I was at and it was okay that I was a newbie with all of this. My yes got bigger as I stepped into hearing how I sounded with the equipment he offered. Not like singing in my living room!
Then everything changed….the virus hit and I was halted once again! Didn’t matter if I was a yes or no now, just wasn’t happening!
Looking back I am pretty proud of myself that I hung in there and didn’t give up! I kept at it. When I finished my recording of Pretty Little Red Bird, I wondered what was next. Now what do I do? Just completing it, during a Global Pandemic, was an amazing experience and it kept me focused on something I love. It gave me something to look forward to. I didn’t want it to end! And all the time and effort I/we spent working on this project motivated me to follow through. I could not just stop there. (Well I could have but I didn’t!)
Seemed the no’s made the yes’s more meaningful! Yes I have something to say, yes people will listen, yes it was worth spending the money to do this. Yes to being vulnerable in sharing myself in this new way – very publicly. Writing blogs and posting on Facebook and Instagram and feeling so out of my comfort zone. Yes to S. Main Street Marketing and Stephanie who is nothing short of AMAZING! She has guided me to find the biggest yes so far – promoting my music! Yes to owning that I am a singer/songwriter who followed her dream later in life and learning the ins and outs of running an actual business! Yes to having my very own website for the first time in my life! I have stretched myself so much with all these yes’s! I am proud of those stretches and how I have grown through it all. What else is possible? What other yes’s are hiding just around the corner? Yes… I am curious!