My Heart Lead Me Here

My Heart Led Me Here 

Back in 2013 I walked away from a “Corporate America” job because I was so stressed out trying to fit into something that just was not my soul calling. I was good at it but it did not fulfill me.  I remember some thought I was nuts or going through a mid life crisis thing. In a way I was. After my mom died in 1998 I remember I seriously questioned why I was here  (not thoughts of leaving this earth just the meaning of life) – what was our time here on earth really about? It started me on a journey that has had many twists and turns. 

I was at a coaching seminar in Chicago and we did this meditation/visualization exercise. In my visualization I saw myself in Italy and I was so happy and carefree. I remember how vivid it was – my cells were dancing around I was so happy! When I shared with my small group I was like a different person. I had clarity~I had passion~I had heard this call. I didn’t even know how to make it happen just that I was letting the universe know my wishes. I remember they gave us action steps to take and one of mine was to ask my employer if I could take a month off to travel.  Was I being greedy I wondered?  A single mom who had always worked. I had an accountability buddy who encouraged me to ask the question.  The day finally came when I had the guts to do it.  I asked for my month off. I don’t remember exactly what they said other than after my vacation was used up, time without pay was not really encouraged.  I think I decided 3 weeks was better than none! 

I had always thought when I remarried some day that Europe would be a second honeymoon destination. I waited and waited and finally I saw I had to modify that part of the vision too! I asked my son and he was a YES! And in the meantime I was giving some thought to the fact that I knew how hard it would be to come back to a job I didn’t love – the people were great but the work was not fulfilling for me. I ended up quitting my corporate job just before my Italy trip and was giving myself a year to find what my heart was calling me to do.  
I started to think about what would bring me joy – there were 2 things – working with kids and music. Both of these had never failed to make me happy.  In my daydreams I had envisioned that I would do both together – and once again the road turned and it changed.   

After I got back from that trip I saw things so differently. And it was hard to come home – I had 3 weeks with my son which was a huge gift and being in a country where I felt so at home there in some oddly familiar way. I never really dreamed of Italy until that workshop. Prior to that it was more like London or Cornwall England because I loved the Rosamond Pilcher book The Shell Seekers so much I wanted to go see the countryside. So now with new eyesight I wanted to find a way to work with kids. I ended up being a lunch lady at the elementary school where my nephews attended. They were in need of help and it was just a few hours a day so I started working there.

Next thing I knew I was subbing as a paraprofessional and found that I really liked being with the kids.  And I finally became a staff member! Now this was not involving any music like I originally hoping for.  I was not a certified teacher however I think I always wanted to be one I just never knew it! So both of my hearts desires have come to fruition. I now have my music and I have time with elementary aged students that are near and dear to my heart. As my song Matter of Time states – I listen to what my heart has to say – it’s never steers me wrong. It’s never too late! Go for it! 

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